"Failure doesn’t kill you...it increases your desire to make something happen." - K. Costner
Do you remember the first time you failed? How did it feel to be a failure? What did you do about it? Failure should be your motivator to stand up and try again.
Do not shy from looking back on these moments of failure as the positive catalysts that will carry you to success. You can learn a lot about yourself. Think about what drove you to take that step and do not spend time reflecting on the fact you failed. It is not easy; you have to be gentle. Allow yourself to go through what I like to call the four stages of OOPS!
Imagine this...You participated in the swimming (or any activity of your choice) competition even though you did not think you were ready. You were the last swimmer to complete the race. Everyone had left the pool area by the time you got out of the pool.
Ouch! Waah!! Ugh!!! That hurt. You are crying inside. Leaving the pool area was not a happy experience to say the least.
Ow! Boo! Ick! Now you are in the second stage. You have to admit that this experience hurt. You still cannot believe this happened. It is embarrassing and sickening to think about.
Pfft! Umm! Bah! Time to move on. Take a deep breath. You are hesitant but you start to think that perhaps it was a good idea to try it out. You got out of your comfort zone. Hey, at least now you know where you rank. But wow that felt bad...no wait, that was awful! This is the time to say, “whatever” and it does not matter. At least no one was at the pool snickering as you passed.
Sheesh! Yee-haw! Oomph! You have made it to the final stage. Declare to yourself and to others when you are ready that going through that experience was not a big deal. In fact, you are excited to try it again. Perhaps not soon because you realize that you need to seriously practice for a month or two. Alternatively, you could say you realized how much you hated swimming and now you are excited to try something new. You have experienced failure and you are stronger because of it.
You now know you can fail again, easily pick up the pieces and move on. You are stronger than you knew. It is time to fail yet again. It is time for another OOPS!
What are you training for? What are you hoping to fail (or perhaps deep down, not fail)?
Dr. Hoda Kilani is a Certified Professional Career Coach (CPCC). As a career management professional, she works with clients in private practice, event facilitation (including carousels and vision boards), conference presentation, and writing.
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